The House...revised
The House...revisedAn eerie silence steeped in deep regretsurrounds her when she walks into the room.A single wedge of light cant stay the gloomthat overwhelms her longing to forgetthe evil that...
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Sue: Neat premise. The story is clear and the mystery remains, which is cool. This seems to be a pushing-your-envelope piece ( just a thought) with respect to punctuation and metre. In reading it a...
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How ominous! Sounds a little like that movie that's coming out, "The Grudge."I like this overall. I don't know exactly what happened in the house, and I don't need to know. But I did find a few things...
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Dear Heartsong:This is my favorite of yours so far. A tragedy she can cosmetically cover; but which left her scarred. I like how you leave it undefined. Of course, I still have nits:In L1 you say:"An...
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Hi Fran...Thanks for stopping to check this out. I appreciate the punctuation suggestions...lots of good advice for future reference as well as for this one.I'm glad you llike the mystery...there may...
View ArticleRe: The House...revised
Hey Sue, You've gotten some very important feedback already... so I'll just say I found this intriguing and well developed. A thought to put in your bonnet, might be feeding the reader a nibblets of...
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